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Name: The Cheater with the Hot Body

Significance: Rebound after first big heartbreak, first Facebook relationship status, cheated on, because I wasn’t financially attractive

Period of Interaction: December 2007 – April 2008

Story: This is one of the worst experiences in my dating life, which I rarely even think about. Basically this guy worked where my ex (see post here) worked so silly me thought it’d be just brilliant to chat up this guy and ideally hook up with him. The goal was to make my ex jealous so we could get back together (so classy I want to shoot myself in the head and then hang my head in a mountain lodge over the fireplace). Fortunately for me at the time, it actually worked. We started dating, he was a great kisser, had a great body and this rebound of a boyfriend felt kinda good. I wasn’t depressed, I started eating regularly again and I had a date just about every day of the week. Then suddenly a month and a half into the relationship, he broke up with me. Now here comes the best part. He broke up with me by deleting our relationship status on Facebook. What’s funnier is that I was out all afternoon and when he did that, all my friends saw it, my sister saw it, but I was the last to know. He then, being a great gentleman, started rejecting my calls and didn’t text back. He was two years older than me and I thought he’d be more mature than that, but I guess when you are an invertebrate you do whatever the fuck you want at the time. Later on I heard that the reason he broke up his so called relationship with me was because he was chasing after a girl from a rich family (true soap opera), who looked like a boy. They dated for a while, until her parents lost their restaurant to credit crunch and lost the potential son-in-law too. This still makes me laugh. I dated a man whore, or I should say a male gold digger.

Lesson: Isn’t it clear? Don’t date gold diggers and always have a smartphone with Internet on at hand in case your boyfriend who acts totally normal every day decides to break up by deleting the relationship status on Facebook. And never start dating somebody having a scheming plan, because karma is a bitch.

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